This has been a week of emotions for sure. For the past three months, I’ve been working on releasing stored emotions that have been interfering with my physical health with the help of a gifted healer. A few weeks ago, I was finally able, after 11 years, to start releasing the grief from the death of my daughter, Kathryn, or Kate, as I called her. I say death, but it was more like birth and death together since she was stillborn at full-term. I sang happy birthday to her as I held her before she was taken away to be prepared for burial.
Today is the 11th anniversary of her birth/death. Coincidentally, or, perhaps not, the days of the week are exactly as they were the weekend I labored to deliver her — the 5th and 6th of March. She had Down Syndrome, and, although members of my family said that this was a blessing that I did not have to raise her with her physical and mental difficulties, it was no consolation for me. The only consolation I had was God’s peace and love, which surrounded me during this very difficult time in my life.
Now, I am sure that this MKMMA course has been instrumental in helping me come to the place where I am able to do this very important healing work and I am grateful. The Gal in the Glass poem has helped as well as the healthy self-love that this program engenders. Understanding how thoughts, emotions and actions work together is very powerful. I think that one of the most powerful lessons is how we can master our emotions, which is the topic of this month’s readings.
I work with essential oils and have a device that can connect with my body’s energetic field and therefore help me know which oils to use for my physical and emotional state. Tonight I scanned for Console, which is the Comforting Blend. As I sat in the bath with the Console blend all around me, crying, it occurred to me that this pain that I felt was not going to kill me after all, and that letting it come out was very necessary. I also realized that the chapter in the Og Mandino book we are reading this month, is very relevant to what happened to me with Kate. I just love this sentence: “Like the flowers, today’s full bloom of joy will fade and wither into despondency, yet I will remember that as today’s dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow’s bloom, so, too, does today’s sadness carry the seed of tomorrow’s joy.” I am sure that releasing these strong negative emotions will create room for more good ones, like Joy, and many others.