OK, I admit it, I’m struggling with too many irons in the fire, which is why my post is late! I have been reflecting this past week on what is blocking me from re-writing my Definite Major Purpose, or DMP document. I had a great video call with my guide, Nancy, two weeks ago and told her I was going to re-write it, but still have not done so. It needs to be done! Three of the major goals have been met! While on my trip last week I realized that I have another very important goal that needs to be included that has to do with where I plan to live. So…. what is the block this time? Yes, I am busy with life, including starting massage school (one of my DMP goals!). But still, if it were important to me, why have I not started writing it down?
There is something very powerful about writing down your dreams, goals, desires. I know from seeing the goals on my current DMP come true that it works. I have always thought of myself as a risk-taker, but now I am re-evaluating just how much of a risk taker I really am. One thing that has helped is taking more “risk” with my Bikram yoga and Pilates workouts — I’ve been pushing myself to do more in those classes and to ignore the pain that inevitably comes with that effort. I can feel my stomach muscles more now ! My body and mind are more in sync. No, it’s not the bad kind of pain, it’s the good kind! The kind your muscles can recover from and get better because of it. So… another lesson learned… some pain is OK and can actually take you places.
Because of MKMMA, I know that I can control my response to pain. I am choosing to see it as not something to be avoided at all costs, but, like anything else, something that I can use to get me where I want to go. Just like the emotions we’ve been recognizing these past couple of weeks — guilt, fear, anger, worry — pain has its place in my life. Another thing that has probably helped me lately tolerate pain more — at least physical pain — is how I have been able to release past emotional pain. There is definitely a connection.
So, back to my re-write of the DMP. I think I haven’t set aside time to do it because if I achieve the goals in the new one, there will be some pain involved as far as others in my life. OH, is this what it means to live true to yourself? It’s not all easy and wonderful. Choices that I make about my future may not be compatible with choices that my friends and family would make. It feels good to write all this out! Now on to the DMP!