I’m at the half-way mark, or the half-time show with my personal development course, MKMMA, or Master Key Mastermind Key Alliance. 12 weeks done, 12 more to go. It really has flown by!
This week has been especially challenging for me — schedule changes due to my daughter’s time off from school for the holidays, our ski trip cancelled at the last minute for lack of snow, etc. On the way home from picking up my daughter’s antibiotic for strep throat that was diagnosed today, I caught myself feeling sorry for myself and started saying out loud the affirmation “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy”, but I then realized I was saying it in a very angry tone of voice… so I stopped.
Why am I so angry? I realize as I stop to write this post, that I am angry that with the cancellation of our ski trip to Wintergreen, that one of the goals in my DMP, or definite major purpose, was not going to happen. Here it is, plastered all over the walls of my house that we were going skiing this month. And nature did not cooperate. And I have no control over making it snow. Just because it was written down on my DMP does not mean it will happen exactly as I have written it down — wow.
The chapter this week from Og Mandino’s book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, is about persistence. Yes, I’ve rescheduled the trip to February, when there will likely be snow, but I am very disappointed, as is my daughter. She, however, has bounced back completely and is now focused on the hamster she is getting for Christmas now that we will be in town instead of on a mountain. I thought about changing the shapes posters around my house so the blue rectangle reads” Ski Wintergreen, February 2016″, but have not done it. I think my angst is really over the other three goals up there — since one did not happen, what about the other three? Will they not happen also by my deadlines?
Fear is not a good emotion. In our Week 12 reading from Haanel, sentence 11 says “Of course, worry, fear, and all negative thoughts produce a crop after their kind; those who harbor thoughts of this kind must inevitably reap what they have sown”. So I know I must fight against these negative thoughts about my other goals and keep replacing them with positive ones (Law of Substitution). This is very hard to do after a lifetime of negative thought patterns. But, I will persist and I will succeed.
I do know that there is a good reason why there was no snow and we had to move our trip to February but it is not one that I know the answer to. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work for good for those who love the Lord, for those who are called according to His purpose.” I’m sure some reading this may think, “Oh no, not that verse again!”. It is a consolation to me, though, when things don’t go as planned, that it is because something better is going to happen because of it. This brings to mind the birth of my 8 year old daughter Ellyse. I was pregnant two years before Ellyse’s birth, but that baby, named Kate, was stillborn at full-term. If that had not happened, I may not have met Ellyse’s father, and so on.
It is a balance to strive to reach my goals and to remember that God is the one who is really in control of the events in my life… and the snow! So, what am I going to do with the rest of this course?
I’ve decided to keep at it — I’ve put too much effort in already to just give up because one of my goals did happen exactly as I had planned. I must trust the process, and God, and keep moving forward. Or, as Haanel says in sentence 4 this week, “The only way to keep from going backward is to keep going forward. Eternal vigilance is the price of success. There are three steps, and each one is absolutely essential. You must first have the knowledge of your power; second, the courage to dare; third, the faith to do.”