Week 4 — Losing It

Week 4 — Losing It

Why does losing things bother me so much?  I thought a lot about this question this week.  On Tuesday night, I noticed that my gold signet ring was not on my left hand pinkie finger.  I’ve had this ring since childhood — it used to fit on my ring finger when I was 10 or so.  I’m not sure who gave it to me or why — all I know is it’s probably the oldest valuable item I still have from my childhood. I had not worn it in years, but put it on about three weeks ago.  I don’t wear much jewelry although I have quite a bit of it, thanks to my mother, who adores collecting it.  When I noticed it was missing, I immediately went into mind overdrive, trying to re-trace my steps that day.  I imagined it sliding off my finger as I took my jacket off — it was cool enough here to wear a jacket on Sunday.  My OCD started to kick in as I went over and over in my mind where it could have dropped off.  I searched my car, my bed, my house, crawling on my hands and knees… you get the picture!  My husband tried to calm me down, saying that if God wanted me to have it, I would find it.

The next day I went back to and called every place I had been on Tuesday.  Then I realized that I had a picture from Saturday night and sure enough, the ring was on my hand at that point.  Therefore, it could have disappeared anytime between Saturday night and Tuesday night.  It could be anywhere!!  I’ve lost things before, and my normal is to obsess about the item in a very unhealthy way.  This time, I was more aware of my thoughts and also the negative effect they were having on my mood.  I wondered if there was some way to make “subby” give up the memory of it sliding off my hand.  I was mad at “subby” for withholding the information!  I wondered why I am so attached to “things”.  I know things don’t define who I am!

Finally, this morning,  before I got out of bed, I decided that I had the power to choose to be happy about this loss.  Maybe it’s no coincidence that I chose to wear it again when I started MKMMA and it represents not a very happy time in my life?    I feel a bit of relief now that I have made this choice.  I thought about it a few times today when my thumb stroked the now empty back of my finger.

In the past, I would have had to force myself to think of something else quickly before I started down the road again of worrying or going over all the possible places it could be.  Now, I was able to move on to other thoughts without much effort and enjoy my day.  Wow, you really can choose which emotion you attach to a thought!  How about that?!!

By |2015-10-22T23:38:24+00:00October 22nd, 2015|Uncategorized|4 Comments

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4 Comments

  1. Donna Wasielewski October 27, 2015 at 12:41 am - Reply

    Your name was on the blog roll as one of the 5 below mine I am supposed to comment on so here I am! What a profound blog! What an incredible power to be to take situations that WILL happen in your life and change the only thing you can about them, your feelings! You turned a negative into such a positive…saying that perhaps this was your subby’s way of getting rid of a reminder of a bad time in your life. When you finish this course, you should treat yourself to a NEW ring representing your newfound power over your feelings!

    • Lesley Carmody October 27, 2015 at 1:29 am - Reply

      Thank you Donna! Yes, my 7-year old daughter’s solution was to replace it as well!

  2. kishahlom October 27, 2015 at 3:54 am - Reply

    Hi! I am one of your 5 followers!
    Your story reminded me of “It’s a Wonderful Life” Every time a bell rings an Angel gets its wings! Maybe it could be more than just a bell, a new blueprint could give you wings to fly higher than ever before.
    You may just find it when you stop looking for it.
    What a beutiful story!

  3. mknancy October 31, 2015 at 2:59 am - Reply

    You DO have the power to control your feelings!

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